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Turkey with Whisky
Last modified: $Date: 2003/12/27 01:28:54 $
Deutsche Version
See also Canard à l'Orange
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Buy a turkey weighing about 5kg, a bottle of Whisky, salt, pepper, olive oil and some
bards of lard.
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Bard the turkey with lard, tie, salt and pepper and add a dash of olive oil.
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Pre-heat the oven, thermostat 7, for 10 minutes.
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During this time, pour yourself a glass of Whisky.
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Put the turkey in the oven in an oven dish.
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Next, pour yourself two glasses of Whisky and drink them both.
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Increashe the thermoschtat to 8 after 20 minutes to seal in the juices.
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Knock back three more glasses of Whisky.
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After half an hour, get in the oven and check the turkey's progresh.
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Take the bottle of Whishky and schpill a glashful all over yourshelf.
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After another half hour, schtagger over to the oven, open the oven door and burn, spurn,
churn - hic! - er, put the turkey the other way round.
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Burn your hand on the blasted oven door while trying to close the damn thing - hell's
bells!!
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Try to sit down on a son-of-a-bitch of a chair and soak up five or six Whisky of glasses,
or the opposhite - dunno!
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Book, look, hook, rook, cook - no, well, yes, cook the mean so-and-so for four
hours.
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Whoa!! Five more glashes! By jove, you needed that!
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Bake, rake - no, take the turkey out of the oven.
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Wash down a fair gulp of Whisky.
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Try to take the oven out of the rotten turkey again 'cos you didn't manache it the
firscht time.
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Pick up the turkey from the door, poor, hic! - floor, clean it with a piesche of kitchen
roll and slap it on a slate -hic! - plate. Oh, what the hell!!
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Fall over and break your neck on the tiley greases, or the greasy tiles (don't care any
more) and try to stumble up.
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Decide it's much more fun to stay on the floor and finisch the bottle of Whischky - hic! -
hic!
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Clamber to the bed, schleep like a log all night.
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Next morning, eat the cold turkey with a luvverly mayonnaise (warning: pick off very
carefully the kitchen roll still stuck to the turkey)
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Spend the rest of the day cleaning up the awful mess you made in the kitchen the day
before
This recipe was adapted from a version I found at http://luc.giard.free.fr/z_traduc_gb/ecosse.html.
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